The Reward System

We've been trying out a reward system with our eldest bubs whos eight. We have tried everything else .. you know the usual, no pocket money, no t.v, sending her to her room none of it worked! So we decided to give the reward system a try. I was'nt really sure how to go about it at first so I got some ideas online and from these ideas I managed to put my own reward system together. Eldest bubs has a list of treats to pick from such as staying up late on friday night, a family day out, having her cousin sleepover, a toy etc and then she spends the week trying to work towards getting one. Last week it worked out well and she earned herself a cinema trip and a book the week before was'nt so good for her. I made up a list of what we expect from her that goes like so

Listen to mum and dad when they ask you to do something

Listen to gran when she asks you to do something

no fighting with your cousin

no lifting your brother

no being mean or saying hurtful things

no crying for no reason

no telling lies

do what you are asked without fighting about it

do your chores (this is kinda seperate)

Now these may all seem like very small things but imagine asking someone to pick up their shoes from the middle of the floor 10 times and being ignored.... or sending them to their room for not doing what they are told and them then screaming and crying at you how its unfair!! Yeah it gets old very quickly. Don't even get me started on the chores... eldest bubs gets 5 euro a week chore money I don't know if you can call them chores as all we ask is the she puts her dirty clothes in the wash basket she keeps her room tidy( i make the bed) and that she puts her dirty plates in the wash now I say this is seperate because although it does influence the treat a little bit ( more the size of it) if she does'nt do her chores she just does'nt get her pocket money it's that simple.

Being eight is tough people always bossing you around etc and eldest bubs really is a sweet little girl with a massive heart but she's growing up and she's starting to push back and challenge us a little bit it's normal but it does'nt make it any easier. On one hand I want her to be her own person and to be confident and to stand up for herself in every situation that she feels she needs to but at the same time I want her to be respectful and kind and I'm sure that will come in time, when she is better able to express herself and all we can do is try and guide her onto the right path and teach her right from wrong as best we can.

Eight years ago when I had her I never thought ahead to how hard this part of parenthood would be I thought oh a baby sleepless nights and colic but I did'nt give much thought to the fact that WE are responsible for shaping this little girl into a functioning adult and now I'm at that part my mind is full of fear at the realisation that teaching her right from wrong now, as hard as I think it is it's going to be a whole lot harder when she is 16 or 17 and I have a whole load of other issues to worry about!!

Will the reward system work I'm not totally sure but all we can do as parents is try our best and try and lead by example we're not perfect chances are our kids wont be either and thats ok but respect and kindness go along way.